The Family Resolution Center

                                   BLAMING THE VICTIM

I despise the smug, sanctimonious words of those who look at the desperate acts of those whom have given or taken their lives, having had their lives taken from them by the sadistic brutality of the ignorant, though sometimes highly educated pundits who clutter the court rooms, witness stands, chat rooms of yahoo and google and the like.

There are those who say - "oh - there must have been more to that situation than we knew," or, "it shows he really was unstable", or " he used the words "feminist" so he probably harbored some deep hatred toward his wife who took his children, his money, his work, his home, his dignity - before he dowsed himself with gasoline, lit a match and set himself on fire on the steps of the New Hampshire Court House, or blew his brains out at the edge of his swimming pool in Georgia, when his children were removed.

Others "drink the cool aid' and blame  themselves as per the direction of the mindless, inane, uneducated caseworkers of what are so inaptly named "child protective services" who drag victims from the courts into their supervised spider webs where the fates of our future serial killers the loveless, soulless, brutalized new generation of sadistic killers are plotted. Those who are willing to take on the guilt, the responsibility handed to them - in hopes of regaining their children are out of touch with the facts that it is not the system - that is broken - but the inhumanity of people placed in positions of too much power, with access to too much money.

The professional victims who thrive on the attention, the exchange of terrible stories and the endless conferences that parade the stories of victims and their victim hood, the proximity to power and fame  - yet who do not proclaim the names of the judges, lawyers, guardian ad litem, prosecutors, police who are the true torturers. These crowds are the ones responsible for the ongoing plague perpetuated by child protective services; the moans and groans of "how terrible" are meaningless when compared to the suffering of children who have been separated from good parents and good parents who are forced to endure the loss of a child, or children whom they adore. The pure stupidity of those who blame those who speak out and are severely punished, perpetuate the brutality, immorality, and endless harm caused by those who are blind and refuse to see, deaf and who refuse to hear and dumb, yet refuse to learn - yet the messages are all   around.

Rolanda Pierre Dixon Esq., Assistant  Attorney General in Santa Clara California began the death review boards, looking at how victims of domestic violence were dying. The pattern of victims being killed by their known abusers was increasing in deaths during car accidents. The death review boards came to the conclusion that as police were doing a better job of stopping violence in the home, the violence moved from home to cars where the abuser could isolate the victim and gain control. The victim isolated with the abuser was helpless in the car as the abuser would in fits of rage strike out, ending with the death or severe beating of the victim. As one woman had her arm severed in a car accident caused by her abuser having ripped off her arm during a brutal fight in which she was trying to flee his assaults - he stated - "damn woman would have to die on me"........... it was her fault!

It is not the they - but the we - and if we do not grapple with our own identification with power, glory, fame, empty praise, greed - then the plague on all of our houses will continue.